In an exclusive interaction with SCIKEY to support the World Health Day initiative - #ShareToUnload, Harini Sreenivasan shared her personal journey of anxieties, fears, biggest regrets, workplace stress; how did she overcome them some of the best workplace practices for improving the mental well-being of the employees.

My fear while growing up

Growing up, I was filled with anxiety and fear. This was especially prominent while speaking to strangers. I was afraid of being judged and being ridiculed. The very thought of public speaking was nerve-wracking for me since I was far from good-looking. I was chided for poor looks, my husky voice, and so on. While I did have many fears, now, when I look back at my childhood in retrospect, I realised that all my fears stemmed from my fear of failure. But fortunately, very soon, I realised that my fears were keeping me away from achieving success. I was way ahead of my class academically and in everything I did. But this fear limited me from doing my best.

How I overcame my fears

It wasn't an easy task, but I overcame my fears being with people, starting with those that made me feel safe and comfortable enough to experiment on myself and eventually amidst those very ones who ridiculed me. I couldn't find a safe haven in school, but once I moved out into the outside world, things became slightly different. I found psychological safety in different people through various phases of my life, and that led me to experiment on myself in their presence. For example, I overcame the fear of anxiety on stage by seeking opportunities of anchoring events, fully knowing that my knees can buckle! I literally jumped into insecure zones.

My biggest regrets in life:

My biggest regret is that I didn't spend my childhood as a child should. That's it. I was so cautious of every single step I took that I missed out on being childlike. So, when I look back, I feel that if I had mustered enough courage to overcome my fears early on, I would have probably enjoyed my childhood a lot more than I really did.

Workplace anxiety and Its impact on my work performance:

I am someone who hates failure. This attitude gave rise to many stresses. I had major setbacks in my academics through no fault of mine. This made me lose faith in myself and the Universe. I carried this with me even at work. I began my career as a pharma researcher. But my anxiety and self-doubt put me in the background more than the forefront, halting my career temporarily. Later, I re-booted my career as an HR professional.

Overcoming my anxiety at work

During performance reviews in my pharma days, I was branded as a non-performer. It happened subconsciously. I was seeking validation from those around me if I was worth living. I actually started to wonder if I am worth living. At work, I started seeking validation constantly. I knew that I had to find someone who would help me distinguish right from wrong by giving me a push. That's when I started to reach out to people. Fortunately for me, I found a friend in a colleague, 20 years my senior, and I managed to connect with him. He mentored my thought process by placing challenges. My mentor helped me see my strengths. He would put me in projects no one had attempted earlier to see how I performed. He appreciated my failures and celebrated my victories. This mentor was difficult to please. Thus, receiving praises from him motivated me to do better and overcome my fears.

Consequences of my anxiety

I was very much a loner, living without friends. I never made friends my age as I was unable to relate with them. Eventually, I developed health conditions that stemmed from my anxiety. This had a significant effect on both my mind and social behaviour. I then received professional help. We often attribute it to so many different things, but a lot of it is because we are afraid to step into work. If you could only recognise them, you'll know that your health issues are due to stress, anxiety, or depression.

Life incidents that really hit me hard:

I experienced several professional setbacks that were devastating for me. When I was around 10, I was rejected for a felicitation at a school event after it was announced and after I reached the venue. I don't know why and how it all happened but this rejection was like a slap on my face it did leave a huge deep scar in my mind for 30 years. I had major setbacks even during my public exams. It is still unbelievable but I didn't get what I had worked for. Very recently, I faced a major professional setback that anybody at that level of seniority should not or cannot face. So when it happened to me, it was as if I was thrown out of outer space. I felt I was crash landing!

How I healed myself from past wounds:

I reached out to somebody whom I trusted strongly. It's important to reach out to somebody whom you believe will not judge you. What I actually did was a complete breakdown and I let go of my emotions. That's how I overcame it. But this wasn't just a one-time event. Every 10 days later, I would get pushed to a similar feeling: life isn't worth living. I would go back to my friend and completely break down. That's how I overcame it. Even during the leadership phase of my career, I faced humiliation at work but I reached out to my mentor, who helped me overcome it. My most effective coping mechanism is to reach out to a trusted friend and share without fear of consequences.

Finding the right kind of people to reach out to:

I think professional help comes much later when the situation gets really severe and intense. Don't get there, but before that, identify who are the trustworthy people around you. I always believe that people cross our paths not without any reasons. It is imperative that you find people at all stages of life. I am always available to lend an ear to those facing difficult times. I am on a mission to lend an ear and a hand to those who are in need. I am sure I am not the only one on this mission. There are people like me, whom you can also reach out to.

Things professionals must know about mental health:

Learn to communicate, not just messages, but also reading them, including verbal, non-verbal, silent, written. It is essential as professionals to understand silences because they can be different at different times. It could be anxiety, fear of something, or a reaction to the betrayal. Many times when we listen to silence, we think it's all peaceful. What it really is, is that it speaks a lot more than words. Unsaid and unwritten things have a lot of insights to give. When you try to strike a conversation with people, try to understand their thought process to know why they are saying something. We need to watch out for these small cues here and there. I had penned the following lines a few months ago...

"She spoke nothing, not anymore, 
Finally she is calm, they thought.
Her voice that shrieked, they didn't hear,
Within herself she fought!
Calm and silence, though both say no word
Calm is tranquil but silence must be heard!!!"

Some workplace practices that can help the mental well-being of employees:

People experience mental stress when people treat them as commodities or data points in an excel sheet. It's crucial to treat people with empathy by putting yourself in their shoes. This helps you understand their perspective without being judgemental. But if you start looking at people as boxes in organisations, then you are giving an opening invitation to stress. Organisations should encourage managers to turn into coaches and facilitators that focus on the positives and leverage on their strengths. Managers should know the strengths of each individual. As individuals, we should all behave like adults.

Causes and aggravators associated with mental health problems at work:

What aggravates mental health is the pressure of performance. We want to do our best so that we would be ahead of the rest. How many of us are comfortable not looking at emails on Saturdays, Sundays? How many of us are comfortable relaxing on Monday, because we have worked hard on the weekend? The fear of hierarchy because power resides in higher positions deteriorates mental health. Not having a voice in the organisation, not having a friend in the workplace. It can become severe. These are problems that most people face in general.

My definition of a healthy mind:

A mind that can wake up in the morning, knowing that you are best at what you do and that you are worth it.

My inspiration behind doing behavioural sciences:

Since I was a quiet and introverted kid, I processed many thoughts in my mind. I noticed trends and patterns of how people behaved and how they reacted. In one of my early jobs, I got the opportunity to study behavioural sciences. I observed these patterns more scientifically and started making my observations and drawing my patterns. I also did a lot of social experiments. I am writing journals and research papers currently. Each person has a fascinating story to tell. If we only understand each other's story, we can also understand their behaviours, leaving no room for stress. That's where behavioural science and my enthusiasm for neuroscience comes from.

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