What were your biggest fears in your growing years?

I have always been an overachiever. My greatest fear was failure. I saw failure as a sign of weakness as if I was not good enough if I failed. This fear stemmed from a traumatic event I experienced as a child. The awful incident made me feel like I had to prove to others that I was worth it, that I was not useless. As a result, I was always overcompensating, and failing was never an option. I just always had to be the best.

How did you overcome those fears?

I still have those fears but I have learned to manage them better. I used to be so scared of failing that my whole body would shake at the thought of performing less than the best. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. According to my psychiatrist, I was already having symptoms from an early age. At that time, I felt that this was my biggest failure. How could I have a mental illness almost all my life and didn't even know it? I was in denial for quite some time.

After several therapy sessions, I began to accept my condition. It didn't happen overnight. But I accepted my 'failure'. From then on, I trained myself to see failures as a learning ground filled with stepping stones to be better than my best. I learned to acknowledge that there are things beyond my control. I started to work on normalizing talks on mental health. I wanted to help people like me. And that helps me to this day.

What were your workplace anxieties when you started your professional career? How did it overall impact your performance?

Again, it's related to my fear of failure. I was a newbie. I thought I knew it all. Boy, was I wrong with a capital W. R. O. N. G. When I realized I didn't know it all, the fear of failure kicked in. I mean, how could I be good at my job if there were still so many things I didn't know? The irony is this time around instead of overcompensating, I went the opposite direction. I stopped trying. I didn't want to fail. So, I quit my job. I told my boss I wanted to start my own bakery, I wanted to travel the world, I wanted to break free. The truth is I was just plain scared (sshh, don't tell my boss).

How did you overcome those anxieties?

After I quit my job, I started working as a freelance writer. I wrote SEO articles for an outsourcing company. I didn't have any schedule. I was on my own at that time. I managed to travel to Europe, Australia, and India. My time abroad opened up my mind. The 18 months of 'me' time got me thinking, Hey, enough running! Go back and face your fears.

So I went back home and started working in the same company again. The first year was rough. The fear was still there. But I guess I was better prepared this time. I was determined to not let my fear stop me. I did fail a few times and it was never pretty. The anxiety attacks, the depression, all hit me simultaneously. Of course, at that time I didn't know I had a mental disorder. I just thought it was something I could snap out of. Sometimes I was okay but most of the time I wasn't. I just kept moving forward.

What do you wish professionals knew about mental health?

That it is as real as diabetes, cancer, heart diseases, or whatever disease you may have. Sometimes we experience inexplicable 'physical' symptoms and not know that it was a result of our mental health issues. Anxiety, for instance, can make you feel like you're about to have diarrhea or a heart attack.

Also, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you have a mental illness. I never hide my condition from my colleagues. Sure, some of them were sceptical at first because I was normal and not acting strangely. But they understand my condition better now because I am relentless at making sure they get the right information about bipolar and not from some fictional tv show.

This is why educating the public about mental health is important. I am on a mission to normalize talks and discussions on mental health in the hopes of destigmatizing mental illness, mental health patients, and not forgetting, the caregivers.

What are the workplace practices that can worsen or enhance the mental health of employees?

There are many but let me just give three of each.

a. Practices that can worsen the mental health of employees:

- Dismissive behaviour by the management towards employees

- Unrealistic expectations e.g. expecting the employees to be at the boss's beck and call at all times including after hours, weekends and public holidays

- Running the office like an adult day care centre, i.e. employers should trust their employees to complete their task without micromanaging

b. Practices that can enhance the mental health of employees:

- Regular one-to-one conversations to see if the employees are well physically and mentally. You would be surprised how motivated an employee can be for an employer who cares.

- Periodic breaks from work e.g. office bowling tournaments, family day out, etc.

- Acknowledgement and constructive criticism. Praise the employees' good work and encourage employees to improve where they need to.

What are the major causes aggravators of mental health problems associated with work?

- Fatigue due to excessive workloads
- Stress due to long working hours
- Employers who are unwilling to compromise
- Demotivation especially when the employees feel like they are contributing but not getting anything back other than their stipulated salary.

Describe a “healthy mind” in your own words

A healthy mind is not one without issues. A healthy mind knows when it is in trouble and in need of help. One doesn't need to be happy or motivated all the time. It is normal as human beings to experience emotional ups and downs. What matters is to know when to seek help. Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. The mind is strong when it knows that it can't do it alone. 

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